नेपालीलाई सम्भोग गर्न आउदैन रे ? जानी राखौ।

नेपालीलाई सम्भोग गर्न आउदैन ? जानी राखौ। 

प्रत्येक व्यक्तिको लागि सम्भोग गोपनीय र निजी कुरा हो । प्रत्येकको सम्भोगमा आ–आफ्नै अनुभव र तरिका पनि हुन्छन् । तर पनि सामान्यतया सम्भोग चरम सुख प्राप्त गर्न केही ध्यान पु¥याउनु पर्छ । सम्भोग क्रिया थाल्नु भन्दा पहिले वातावरणमा विशेष ध्यान दिनुपर्छ । मधुरो उज्यालो, मधुर संगीत, सफा र चहकिलो कोठाले वातावरणलाई रमणीय तुल्याउन मद्दत पु¥याउँछ । सम्भोगक्रिया थाल्नुअघि नहाउने, दाँत माझ्ने एवम् उपयुक्त लुगा लगाउनु राम्रो मानिन्छ । सम्भोग क्रियामा स्पर्शको भाषा बढी प्रभावकारी हुन्छ । आफ्नो यौन साथीलाई कामोत्तेजित पार्न हातका औंला र जिब्रोको स्पर्शको सहारा लिनु बढी प्रभावकारी हुन्छ । औंलाले अनुहारमा, गर्दनमा र कानको पछाडि बिस्तारै स्पर्श गरेमा कामोत्तेजना बढ्छ । साथै बिस्तारै जिब्रोले मुखमा चुम्बन गर्दै गर्दनको पछाडि एवम् कानको लोतीमा स्पर्श गर्दै अगाडि बढ्नु पर्छ । यसले पनि कामोत्तेजना बढ्छ । सम्भोगक्रिया थाल्नुभन्दा पहिला बीचबीचमा स्नेहगर्दै यौन साथीलाई मीठो बोलीले तारिफ गर्नुपर्छ । सुस्तसुस्त जुन अङ्गमा स्पर्श गर्दा कामोत्तेजना हुन्छ, त्यही अंगमा बढी स्पर्शगरी सम्भोगक्रियालाई अगाडि बढाउँदै लैजानु पर्छ । सम्भोगरत हुँदा दुवै जना उत्तिकै उत्साहित हुनुपर्छ । दुई मध्ये एक जनाले चासो नलिएमा सम्भोग क्रिया शिथिल एवम् निर्जीव हुन्छ । आफ्नो यौन साथीको बिचार बुझेर त्यसलाई सम्मानगरी सकेसम्म प्राथमिकता दिने भावनाले सम्भोगक्रिया अगाडि बढाउन सकेमा सदैव सुखद हुन्छ, आनन्दित हुन्छ । यस्तो सम्भोगबाट चरम आनन्द पनि प्राप्त हुन्छ । यस्तो स्थितिमा दुई शरीर एक हुने मात्र होइन कि दुई आत्माको मिलन पनि हुन्छ । सम्भोग शुरुगर्नु अघि सदैव यसका सीमा, मर्यादा र नैतिक मान्यताहरुमा ध्यान दिनुपर्छ । किनकी सामाजिक र नैतिक मान्यताविरुद्ध हुन गएको सम्भोगबाट आनन्द प्राप्त गर्नुको सट्टा जिन्दगीभरी कलंकित भएर परिवार र समाजमा तिरस्कृत हुनुको साथै कानूनी दृष्टिले अपराधी समेत ठहरिन्छ । - स्रोत एजेन्सि

केटाहरु केटीको कुन बानी मन पराउँछन्

धेरैजसो केटीहरु यो लाग्छकी केटाहरु केटीहरुको फिगर मन पर्छ । केटीहरु सोच्छन्  सबभन्दा पहिला केटाहरुले आफ्नो शरिरलाई हेर्छन र त्यसलाई नै मन पराउँछन । तर, साँचो यो हैन् । केटाहरु केटीको अन्य आनीबानी मन पराउँछन केटीको शशिरलाई हैन् । अमेरिकाका युर्निभसिटी अफ नेब्रास्का– लिनकाँल्नका शोधकर्ताहरुले गरेको एक अध्यायनमा केटाहरु, केटीको फिगर मात्र देखेर आकर्षित हुदैनन् । केटाहरुले केटीको निम्न कुरा देखेर केटाहरु मन पराउँछन् ।
१. हेयर स्टायल : – कयौं केटाहरु ध्यान केटीको तौल र फिगरमा जादैन् । त्यसो हुदाँ केटीको राम्रो हेयर स्टाइललाई केटाहरुले मन पराउँछन् ।
२. चकचके बानी :–  केटीहरु चकचके बानीको केटाहरु खुब ध्यान दिन्छन् । केटाहरुलाई केटीको यस बानीले पनि आक्रशित गरेको हुन्छ । जो आफ्नो साथीका साथ घुम्ने, एक्लै रहने केटीभन्दा मोजमस्ती गर्ने केटी खुब मन पर्छ ।
३. मुस्कराउने स्वाभावः –  केटीहरु मुस्कुराउने बानी छ भने केटाहरु खुब मन पराउँछन् । अलि हाँसी मजाक गर्ने केटी पाए केटाहरु झन खुब मनपराउँछन् ।
४. सेक्सी लुक :– सेक्सी तबसम्म ठिक मान्छन केटाहरु धेरै अश्लिलता हुदैनन् । केटीहरुले धेरै भड्किला कपडा नलगाएका र प्रचलित मान्यता बिपरित रहेका केटीहरुलाई केटाहरु मन पराउँदैनन् ।
५. आत्मबिश्वासः – केटाहरु यस्ती केटी मन पराउँछन सले आफ्नो जीवनलाई नियन्त्रणमा राख्नसक्छ । दिलबाट नै बलियो आतमबिश्वास भएकी केटीलाई केटाहरु मन पराउँछन् 

A 16-Year-Old Reflects on the Sex Ed Classes She Took at 6 and 13

When I was six years old, my parents enrolled me in a two month sex-ed class at our Unitarian Universalist church. The class was fairly basic; on the first day, I recall sketching a crude outline of a man and a woman and then labeling their body parts. I felt vaguely subversive when I got to the male and female figures’ respective groins (I have the nagging suspicion that my drawing did not include breasts, because at six, I had not yet even begun to consider that my chest could ever change shape). Our teacher sang a song about Josh and Jenny, fraternal twins with two eyes and ten toes each, and then—gasp!—mentioned Josh’s two testes and Jenny’s one vulva, presumably in an attempt to normalize dry, scientific discussion of the human body.

  

Some weeks later, the topic shifted to what makes a family, and we dull suburban children learned about the fictional Serena’s rather unconventional family reunion (“This is Serena’s gay cousin and his 20-year partner. They are standing next to Serena’s divorced grandfather, who is talking to Serena’s bisexual hermaphroditic polygamist aunt, who was born a man.”) The class also supplied my first lesson in “no means no,” a novel concept simply because, blessed with a loving family and a safe school and neighborhood, I had never before been exposed to the idea of sexual abuse. Seven years later, about two weeks after my 13th birthday, I attended the first session of another UU sex-ed class, this one a year long. As eighth graders, we were deemed mature enough to handle the more emotional aspects of sex, and discussions ranged from basic reviews of anatomy, safe sex, and the various forms of sex to what we would do if we found out a partner had an STD, whether we would have sex before a relationship became serious, and whether the word “slut” was inherently offensive to women. We also spoke to a group of LBGTQ people about topics like coming out and experiencing often-pervasive homophobia and transphobia (among other attitudes), and we debated the importance or lack thereof of remaining a virgin. You can imagine the awkward shuffling and bashful mumbles that ensue when a group of barely-acquainted 13-year-olds are introduced to such topics. We employed the ever-popular “anonymous questions box” that I assume is still omnipresent in sex- ed classrooms up and down the country, and the teachers always had a list of backup discussion questions to raise in case one went down poorly. My classmates and I could hardly bear to look at each other during the class each week. But now, at 16, I consider those sex-ed classes incredibly valuable. I am aware that I still have a lifetime of learning ahead of me, but I am also aware that my knowledge of sex and sexuality far outstrips that of many of my peers. I feel confident in my ability to make responsible sexual decisions for myself, and I left the class with nuanced views on issues like gender equality and relationships (romantic and platonic alike). What many more-conservative parents need to consider is that the dissemination of information is not inherently dangerous. It is highly preferable, in fact, for children and teenagers to receive accurate, complete information from a reliable source than to spread the gossip and half-truths of their friends or the Internet. I am aware, of course, that many parents do not believe their children are prepared for the more emotional, subjective parts of a class like the one I took, and that their children may truly not be ready. But it is crucial to protect the right of purely scientific knowledge to remain in the classroom, which must remain a bastion of learning what is true and not what is comfortable. With restrictions on the information considered acceptable for school, students leave the class with curious gaps in their knowledge: my school system, for instance, has established abstinence-only education until high school, with the result that a sex-ed teacher was once allowed to inform my class that condoms prevent the transmission of STIs but could not answer a question about whether they also prevent pregnancy. I do not believe that the federal government is in any way within its rights to dictate a curriculum to a public or private school, and if states, localities, and school administrators choose to censor or neuter (literally) their sex-ed curricula, so be it. However, I think that making such a decision would be doing a monumental disservice to their students. Even if they feel uncomfortable facilitating frank, sometimes emotionally charged discussions on more subjective topics, schools should provide to their students as much objective information as possible. Parents who disagree are free to opt their children out of the class or move them to a different school, but it is important never to lose sight of the purpose of schools: to educate children. Education and censorship should not and cannot coexist.

सेक्स गर्दा सबैभन्दा आनन्द आउने उमेर

पछिल्लोपटक गरिएको एक अध्ययनले महिलाहरुको हकमा २८ वर्षको उमेरमा गरिने सेक्स सबैभन्दा आनन्ददायक हुने देखाएको छ । अनलाइन मार्फत गरिएको यो अध्ययन एक यौन खेलौना उत्पादक कम्पनीले गरेको हो ।

तर पुरुषको हकमा भने सेक्समा सबैभन्दा धेरै मज्जा लिने उमेर ३३ वर्ष रहेको बताइएको छ । महिलाहरुले २८ वर्षको उमेरमा सेक्सबाट सबैभन्दा धेरै आनन्द लिने भएपनि उनीहरु २५ वर्षको उमेरमा सेक्सको मामिलामा धेरै सक्रिय हुन्छन् । 

 महिलाहरुले औषतमा १७ वर्षको उमेरमा आफ्नो कुमारित्व गुमाउने गरेका छन् । यस्तै पुरुषहरुको हकमा औषतमा १८ वर्षको उमेरमा उनीहरुको भर्जिनिटी तोडिने र २९ वर्षको उमेरमा सेक्सको मामिलामा सबैभन्दा बढि सक्रिय हुने अध्ययनको निष्कर्ष छ । 

यसअघिको अर्को अध्ययनले भने पुरुषले १८ वर्ष तथा महिलाले ३० वर्षको उमेरमा सेक्समा सबैभन्दा धेरै मज्जा लिने निष्कर्ष निकालेको थियो ।

यौन : धैर्यता पनि जरुरी

पश्चिमी शैलीको सिको गर्दै हाम्रो परिवेशमा पनि पुरुषहरू मुखमैथुनको माग गर्न थालेका छन्। सफाइको दृष्टिबाट पश्चिमेलीहरू तुलनात्मक रूपले बढी स्वस्थ हुन्छन्। हाम्रो परिवेशमा उनीहरूको जस्तो सरसफाइमा ध्यान दिने चलन पनि कम छ। हाम्रो परिवेशमा लालन-पालनको प्रक्रिया पनि फरक पाइन्छ, विशेषगरी महिला पक्षको। मुखमैथुन त टाढाको कुरा हो, यौनसम्पर्कका लागि पनि महिला स्वयं आफूलाई तयार गर्न समय लगाउँछन्। यदि मुखमैथुनले आफ्नो वैवाहिक जीवनलाई अझ सुमधुर बनाउँछ भन्ने लाग्छ तर श्रीमती त्यसका लागि तयार छैनन् भने उपाय आफैले निकाल्नुपर्ने हुन्छ। यौन क्रियामा त्यही कुरालाई प्राथमिकता दिनु उचित हुन्छ, जुन श्रीमतीलाई राम्रो र आनन्ददायक लाग्छ। यसमा जबर्जस्ती गर्नु उचित होइन। पाक्क्रीडाबाट श्रीमतीलाई तयार गर्नुपर्छ। श्रीमतीलाई उत्तेजित गर्ने क्रियाकलाप एवं कुराकानी गर्नुपर्छ। आफ्नो खुसीका लागि उनलाई उत्साहित गरेको कुराको सुइँको श्रीमतीलाई दिनुहुँदैन। यदि श्रीमतीले त्यो कुरा थाहा पाए उनको मुड खराब हुन सक्छ। यो नकारात्मक अनुभूतिले श्रीमतीलाई यौन सुख प्राप्त गर्नमा व्यवधान सिर्जना गर्छ। अधिकांश पुरुष यौनसम्पर्कका लागि हतार गर्छन्। त्यहीँ महिला यसको आनन्द बिस्तारै अनुभव गर्न चाहन्छन्। मुखमैथुन पुरुषले प्रारम्भ गर्नुपर्छ। त्यसबाट श्रीमती पनि यसका लागि तयार हुन सक्छिन्। 

यौनसम्पर्क पूर्व जसरी श्रीमान्लाई मुखमैथुन गर्नु राम्रो र आनन्ददायक लाग्छ, त्यसरी नै श्रीमतीलाई पनि केही विशेष कुरा गरेको मनपर्छ। जस्तै श्रीमतीको खुट्टा सुमसुम्याउनु पेट, नाभीस्थल, गर्दन आदिमा चुम्नु। यी सबैले श्रीमतीलाई आनन्दको अनुभूति दिलाउँछ र उत्तेजित पनि गराउँछ। यसबाट मुखमैथुनका लागि पनि श्रीमती तयार हुने सम्भावना हुन्छ। महिलाहरू गुप्तांग स्पर्शप्रति अत्यन्त संवेदनशील हुन्छन्। अतः धेरै बल प्रयोग गर्न वा स्पर्शमा कठोरता अपनाउनबाट जोगिनुपर्छ। 

मुखमैथुनमा मुख वा जिब्रोको मात्र प्रयोग हुन्छ भन्ने छैन, यसमा हातको प्रयोग पनि आवश्यक हुन्छ। निजी अंगमा श्रीमान्को हल्का एवं प्रेमपूर्ण स्पर्शले श्रीमतीलाई श्रीमान्प्रति पागल बनाउँछ। धैर्यता अपनाउँदै बिस्तारै-बिस्तारै उत्तेजनाको वातावरण सिर्जना गर्नु राम्रो हुन्छ। यी सबैले आत्मीयता र प्रगाढता सिर्जना गर्न मद्दत गर्छ। श्रीमतीको सन्तुष्टिलाई ध्यान दिनु आवश्यक छ। श्रीमतीको इच्छाको कदरले नै श्रीमान्प्रतिको भरोसा बढ्छ। श्रीमान्को धैर्यताले आपसी सामीप्यतालाई अझ प्रगाढ बनाउँछ र सम्बन्ध अझ सुमधुर बन्न पुग्छ।

महिला र पुरुषमा यौनकृडा गर्ने शक्तीमा कमि आउनुको कारण के हो?हेर्नुस भिडियो सहित !

 महिला र पुरुषमा यौनकृडा गर्ने शक्तीमा कमि आउनुको कारण के हो?
 The American Medical Association has estimated that several million US women suffer from what doctors there call ‘female sexual arousal disorder’ (FSAD). However, currently there seems to be an FSAD bandwagon, driven by doctors who think that nearly half the female population (43 per cent) lack sex drive. Such a high number really doesn’t seem likely.

In the UK, family planning clinics and Relate (or Relationships Scotland) clinics see quite large numbers of women who complain of low libido. Our estimate is that at any one time, several hundred thousand women in Britain are troubled by lack of sex drive.

Many of these women have no problems with having orgasms. Rather, they have no real desire to have sex and their minds are not turned on by the prospect of love-making.

Fortunately, for many females this lack of libido is only temporary.

Some will get over it by themselves, and a lot more can be helped by expert medical or psychosexual advice. Others do not really want to get back into the world of rampaging sexual desire and are quite happy to lead lives which are untroubled by lust.

”शिशु जन्मिएको कति समय पछि यौनसम्पर्क गर्दा उपयुक्त ?’

 ‘साप्ताहिकबाट…’शिशु जन्मिएपछि कति दिनसम्म यौनसम्पर्क गर्नु हुँदैन ? शिशुको जन्मपछि यौनसम्पर्क गर्दा वीर्य -शुक्रकीट) योनिमा झर्दा गर्भ रहन्छ कि रहँदैन ? तपाईंले भन्नुभएजस्तै धेरै दम्पतीको मनमा प्रश्न हुन्छ- शिशु जन्मिएपछि कहिलेदेखि यौनसम्पर्क पुनः सुरु गर्नहुन्छ ? सबैका लागि यति नै समय भनेर तोक्नु मनासिब नहोला। सजिलो रूपमा भन्नुपर्दा दुवैले उपयुक्त मानेपछि। कतिपयले ६ हप्तालाई यौनसम्पर्क सुरु गर्न सकिने समय मानेका छन्। कतिपयले ६ हप्तासम्म पर्खनु नपर्ने कुरा गरेका छन् भने कतिले अझै बढी समय पर्खनु उचित हुन्छ भन्छन्। विभिन्न तर्क भए पनि सर्वप्रथम सुत्केरी अवस्थामा रहेकी आमा शारीरिक तथा मानसिक दुवै रूपमा तयार हुनु महत्त्वपूर्ण कुरा हो। शारीरिक तथा मानसिक रूपमा तयार हुनुभन्दा पहिले नै पतिले यौनसम्पर्क राख्ने इच्छा देखाए वा दबाब दिए के गर्ने भन्ने भय कतिपय नेपाली महिलामा हुनसक्छ र यो निकै असजिलो परिस्थिति हो।’

‘त्यसैले पति-पत्नीले आफ्ना मनमा भएका दुःख तथा अप्ठयाराहरूलाई खुलस्त रूपमा एक-अर्कासामु व्यक्त गर्नुपर्छ र कुराकानी गरेर समाधान खोज्नुपर्छ। यौन क्रियाकलापमा संलग्न हुन दुवै जना तयार भएको स्थितिमा त्यसका लागि दुवैले केही समय निकाल्नुपर्छ। कुराकानी, स्पर्श, अंकमालजस्ता कतिपय कुरा आत्मीयता अनि यौन क्रियाकलाप अघि बढाउन सहयोगी हुन्छन्। तुरुन्तै पूर्ण यौनसम्पर्कमा संलग्न भैहाल्नुपर्छ भन्ने केही छैन।’
के-कस्ता कुराले यौन क्रियाकलाप सहज बनाउन सहयोग गर्ला ?’
सुरुका केही दिनमा हुने प्रसवपछिको श्राव हुन बन्द भएपछि कतिपय महिलाले योनिमा सुख्खापन महसुस गर्न सक्छन्। योनि सुख्खा भएको अनुभव छ भने, प्-थ् वभििथ वा अन्य कुनै चिप्लो पदार्थले यौनाङ्गको स्पर्श वा लिङ्ग प्रवेशलाई सजिलो बनाउन सक्छ। केगेल कसरत लाभदायक हुन्छ। यसले योनि तथा भग क्षेत्रको मांशपेशीलाई बलियो बनाउन सहयोग गर्छ। यौन उत्तेजना भएको स्थितिमा गर्भावस्थाभन्दा पहिलेको जस्तो पूर्ण र शारीरिक रूपमा सक्रिय किसिमको यौन सम्पर्कमा संलग्न हुनुपर्ने भन्ने छैन। कोमल तरिकाले बिस्तारै अघि बढ्नु श्रेयस्कर हुन्छ। स्पर्श, अंकमाल अति विस्तारै यौनाङ्गको स्पर्श, सहजता हेरी अघि बढ्ने सजिलो आसनको प्रयोग गर्न सक्नुहुन्छ। असजिलो भएमा बन्द गर्ने, राति नै वा बेस्सरी थाकेको बेला यौनसम्पर्क गर्नुपर्छ भन्ने छैन।’

‘थकान पक्कै यौन क्रियाकलापमा संलग्न हुन वाधक हुनसक्छ। राम्रो कुरा के भने नवजात शिशु प्रशस्तै सुत्छ। थाक्नुभन्दा पहिले नै शिशु सुतेको बेला समय निकाल्नु सहयोगी हुन्छ। नवजात शिशु सुत्नासाथ आफूले पनि केही आराम गर्ने गर्दा थकान हटाउन मद्दत पुग्छ। हल्का र थोरै तर पटक-पटक खानु वा पिउनु पनि सहयोगी हुन्छ। शिशु हेरिदिने कोही भए त्यसको उपयोग आरामका लागि गर्दा पनि सहयोग नै पुग्छ। यस्तो अवस्थामा पोषणमा विशेष ध्यान पुर्‍याउनुपर्छ।’

के गर्भ रहला ?’
शिशुलाई स्तनपान नगराउने धेरैजसो महिला शिशु जन्मिएको यस्तै ४ देखि ६ हप्तामा महिनावारी र्फकन सक्छन्, तर यस्तै एकतिहाइ जति शिशुको जन्मपछिको महिनावारीमा डिम्ब निष्कासन नभएको हुन सक्छ। त्यसपछिका महिनावारीमा ढिम्ब निष्कासन हुने क्रम पनि बढी हुन्छ र शूक्रकीटसहितको वीर्य योनिमा पर्दा गर्भ रहने सम्भावना बढ्छ। शिशुलाई पूर्ण स्तनपान गराइएको स्थितिमा महिनावारी हुन नथालेसम्म ६ महिनासम्मको लागि स्तनपान विधि नै प्रयोग गर्न सकिन्छ।’

तर अर्को पक्ष के पनि हो भने यी कुरामा केही अनिश्चितता हुन्छ। मुख्य कुरा के भने, गर्भको भयका कारण यौनसम्पर्क राख्न हिचकिचाउनुपर्ने जमाना अहिले छैन। गर्भावस्थादेखि नै आफ्नो परिवारको योजना गर्न सकिए सजिलै उपलब्ध गर्भनिरोधको साधन शिशुको जन्मपछि सक्दो चाँडो प्रयोग गर्न सकिन्छ। स्तनपान गराइरहेको स्थितिमा स्वास्थ्यकर्मीको सल्लाहमा प्रोजेस्टेरोन मात्र भएका चक्की वा सुई -डिपो) प्रयोग गर्न सकिन्छ। कन्डमको प्रयोग त जुनसुकै बेला पनि गर्न सकिने भयो।’

पुरुषहरू भर्जीन केटी सँग यौन संपर्क राख्न किन धेरै खर्च गर्छन् ?

 

देहव्यापारको क्षेत्रमा एकपल्ट पनि यौनसम्पर्क नराखेकी युवतीसँग पहिलो यौनसम्पर्क राख्न बढी रकम तिर्न तयार हुने पुरुषहरू प्रशस्तै पाइन्छन्, तर उनीहरूले जहिले पनि पहिलो यौनसम्पर्क राखेको माने पनि वास्तविकतामा त्यस्तो नभएको हुनसक्छ। पहिलोपल्ट सम्पर्क हँुदैछ भन्ने भान पार्न अभिनयका लागि विशेष तालिम नै दिइन्छ भने अर्कातिर भिक्टोरियन अवधिमा बेलायतमा योनिच्छद च्यातिएको भान पार्न जुकाको प्रयोग गरिएका उदाहरणसम्म पनि भेटिएका छन्। यसको निचोड के हो भने अन्य कुनै तरिकाबाट सूचना नपाएको स्थितिमा सामान्यतया पुरुषले महिलाले पहिले नै यौनसम्पर्क राखेको निश्चित रूपमा थाहा पाउन सक्दैनन्। त्यसैले यौनसम्पर्क राखेको थाहा पाउला भन्ने कारणले आएका विवाहका सबै प्रस्ताव स्वीकार गर्न हुन्छ वा विवाह गर्नु हुँदैन भन्ने छैन।

सेक्स गर्दा किन केटा मथिहुन जरुरी छ??

हस्तमैथुनबाट सन्तुष्टि : मानबिय स्वभाव नै हो कि उत्तेजनात्मक दृश्यहरु देख्दा मानिसमा स्वाभाविक रुपमा यौन चाहना पैदा हुन्छ । त्यसैले पोर्न फिल्म हेर्दा स्वाभाविक रुपमा सन्तुष्टिको भावना चरम बिन्दुमा पुग्छ । जब कुनै महिला पोर्न फिल्म हेर्छिन, तब उनलाई हस्तमैथुन गर्ने इच्छा अरु बढ्छ । तिनै महिलाहरु पोर्न फिल्म हेरिसकेपछि आफुलाई कल्पनामा फेन्टासी दुनियामा पुर्याउछन र सन्तुष्टि पौने कोशिश गर्दछन ।

तनाव भगाउन मद्दतगार : केहि अपबाद बाहेक अन्य केशहरुमा कुनै महिला तनावमा छिन भने उनलाई यौन सम्बन्ध राख्दा केहि हदसम्म राहत मिल्नसक्छ । तर सबै अवस्थामा यो सम्भव हुँदैन । जुन अवस्थामा पोर्न फिल्म हेर्दा महिलाहरु तनावबाट केहि हदसम्म राहत महसुस गर्न सक्छन । त्यसो भन्दैमा अफिसमा दिन तनावमय भयो भन्दैमा पोर्न हेरेर पछुताउने कार्य भने नगर्नु नै उत्तम हुन्छ।

केहि रोमान्स, केहि रमाइलो, केहि मजा : कुनै पनि महिला यदि रिलेसनशीपमा छिन भने उनलाई अरुसंग सम्बन्ध राख्न मान लाग्दैन । यस्तो बेलामा महिलाहरुको मस्ती गर्ने मूड भएमा पनि आफ्नो रिलेसनशिप पार्टनरसंग बसेर पोर्न हेर्न तथा उनीहरुसंगै रोमान्स गर्न रमाइलो मान्छन । यस्तोमा मजा लिनको लागि उनीहरुको भरपर्दो साथी पनि पोर्न फिल्म नै बन्ने गर्छ ।

नयाँ सेक्स आसनको जानकारी : यसको मतलब यो हैन कि कोहि पनि आफ्नो पार्टनरसंग एक पोर्नस्टारको तरिकाले पेश आओस । तर पोर्न फिल्म हेर्नाले महिलाहरु नयाँ आसनको बारेमा जानकार हुन्छन र आफ्नो मूड अनुसार आफुलाई मान पर्ने आसनमा यौन सम्बन्ध कायम गर्न सक्छन । महिलाहरु संधै एउटै तरिकाबाट हस्तमैथुन गर्दा बोर भैसकेका पनि हुन सक्छन त्यसैले उनीहरुले नयाँ तरिका सिक्न पनि पोर्न फिल्मको प्रयोग गर्न सक्छन ।

बेडमा हुँदा पार्टनरको चाहनाको बारेमा ज्ञान: महिलाहरु अक्सर आफु पनि सन्तुष्ट हुन् चाहन्छन र आफ्नो पार्टनरलाई पनि सन्तुष्ट पर्न चाहन्छन । पोर्न फिल्मले बेडमा आफ्नो पार्टनरको चाहनाको बारेमा ज्ञान लिन केहि हदसम्म सहयोग गर्छ । जसले गर्दा आफु र आफ्नो पार्टनरको पूर्ण सन्तुष्टिको लागि पनि महिलाहरु पोर्न हेर्ने गर्छ

सबैभन्दा बढि सम्भोग कहिले ?

वर्षभरीमा कुन महिनामा मानिसहरुले सबैभन्दा बढि सम्भोग गर्छन् होला ? वास्तवमा यौन सम्पर्कको औषत दर कुनैपनि ठाउँको मौसम तथा परिस्थिति अनुसार फरक पर्ने विज्ञहरुको भनाइ छ । बेलायतको हकमा बेलायती जोडीहरु अगष्ट महिनामा सबैभन्दा धेरै यौन सम्पर्कमा लिप्त हुने गरेको एक अध्ययनले देखाएको छ ।

सर्भे अनुसार वर्षभरका अरु महिनामा भन्दा अगष्ट महिनामा बेलायतीहरुको सम्भोगको दर बढ्छ र यो महिनामा बेलायतीहरु धेरैपटक सम्भोग क्रिडामा व्यस्त हुन्छन् । अगष्ट महिनामा बेलायतमा मौसम सफा हुने र सूर्यको प्रकाश स्पष्ट रुपमा पर्ने भएकाले सूर्यको प्रकाशले मानिसमा सेरोटोनिन र डोपामाइन तथा सेक्स हर्मोनको रुपमा रहेको टेस्टेस्टेरोन हर्मोनको मात्रा बढाउने भएकाले मानिसहरुमा सम्भोगको दर बढ्ने गरेको विज्ञहरुको भनाइ छ ।

यसअघिको अध्ययनले बेलायतमा पुरुषहरुको सरीरमा हुने टेस्टेस्टेरोनको मात्रा जनवरी महिनामा भन्दा जुन महिनामा ३३ प्रतिशतले बढि हुने देखाएको थियो । अस्ट्रियाको शोधकर्ताले गरेको पछिल्लो अध्ययनले यो तथ्यांकलाई समर्थन गर्दै जुन महिनामा भन्दा अगष्टमा यस्तो हर्मोन अझै बढि हुने देखाएको छ । शोधकर्ताहरुका अनुसार चहकिलो घामका कारण अगष्ट महिनामा बेलायतमा पुरुषहरुको सरीरमा भिटामिन डी का साथै सेक्स हर्मोनको मात्रा पनि बढ्छ ।

सेक्स टोय कम्पनी लभहनीले गरेको सर्भेक्षणले यो तथ्यलाई पुष्टि गर्दै गृष्मयामको अगष्ट महिनामा बेलायतमा सम्भोगको दर सबैभन्दा बढि हुने देखाएको छ । बढि सम्भोग हुने महिनामा जुलाई दोश्रो स्थानमा छ भने जुन तेश्रो स्थानमा छ ।

गृष्मयाममा लगाइने छोटो छोटो पहिरनले पनि युवायुवतीमा सम्भोगको चाहना बढाउने बताइएको छ । सम्भोगको दरका हिसाबले चौथो स्थानमा रहेको महिना मे हो । पाँचौ स्थानमा डिसेम्बर, छैँटौमा सेप्टेम्बर, सातौँमा अप्रिल, आठौँमा अक्टोबर, नबौँमा मार्च, दशौँमा जनवरी, एघारौँमा नोभेम्बर रहेको छ । वर्षमा सबैभन्दा कम सेक्स हुने महिना फेब्रुअरी रहेको छ । जाडो यामको फेब्रुअरी महिनामा सम्भोगको दर सबैभन्दा कम हुनुमा मौसमकै हात रहेको निष्कर्ष निकालिएको छ । जाडो याममा सरीरमा मेलाटोनिन हर्मोनको उत्सर्जन बढि हुने र उक्त हर्मोनका कारण यौन चाहना घट्ने तथा डिप्रेसन र थकाइ बढ्ने बताइन्छ ।

लिङ्ग उत्तेजित नहुने समस्याले गर्दा आफ्नो पार्टनरलाई सन्तुष्टि दिननसकेकोमा कहिलेकाँही लज्जित हुनुपरेको छ ?

उमेर चढ्दै गइसकेपछि पार्टनरलाई बेडमा सन्तुष्टि प्रदान गर्न अलि कठिन हुने गर्दछ । लिङ्ग उत्तेजना नहुने समस्याले तपाईंको सेक्स लाइफमा नकारात्मक असर पुर्याउँदछ । सेक्स लाइफमा पूर्ण सन्तुष्टि प्राप्त गर्नको लागि स्वस्थ जीवन बाँच्न अत्यावश्यक छ । हामीले यहाँ लिङ्ग उत्तेजित गराउने ६ तरिका उल्लेख गरेका छौँ, जसलाई जीवनमा अपनाउँदा तपाईंलाई फाइदा पुग्नेछ ।

१. राम्रो खानाको सेवनः तपाईंको डाइटको केहि साधारण परिवर्तनले लिङ्गमा उत्तेजना ल्याउन मद्दत गर्दछ । केरा, अण्डा, बदाम, खुर्सानी, प्याज र वाइनले तपाईंको सेक्सको क्षमतालाई वृद्धि गर्न सहयोग गर्दछ । जंक फुडहरुबाट टाढै रहनुहोस् ।

२. तपाईंको लिङ्गलाई व्यायामको आवश्यकता पर्दछः स्वस्थ मानिसहरु जहिले पनि सेक्सुअल्ली एक्टिभ हुन्छन् । व्यायामले तपाईंको सेक्स ड्राइभ र क्षमतामा वृद्धि गर्न मद्दत गर्दछ । लिङ्ग उत्तेजना हुने नदिने तत्व, तनावलाई यसले घटाउन मद्दत गर्छ र टेस्टोस्टेरोनको उत्पादनमा सहयोग गर्छ । लिङ्गको लागि ‘केगेल’ व्यायाम निकै लाभदायक मानिन्छ ।

३. धुमपान र मद्यपानबाट टाढै रहनुहोस्ः धुमपान र मद्यपानले तपाईंको सेक्स लाइफ बर्बाद पार्ने कुरा कयौँ पटक सुनिसक्नुभएको होला । धुमपानले तपाईंको रक्तसंचारलाई घटाउँछ जसले फोक्सोको क्षमतामा ह्रास आउँदछ । यसले तपाईंको लिङ्ग उत्तेजनामा असर पुर्याउँदछ । मद्यपानले तपाईंको शरीरलाई लगद बनाउँदछ र लिङ्ग उत्तेजनामा असर पुर्याउँदछ ।

४. हस्तमैथुन धेरै नगर्नुहोस्ः साँच्चिकैको सेक्सको लागि केहि बचाउनुहोस् । हस्तमैथुन धेरै गर्नाले तपाईंको सेक्स प्रतिको चाहनामा कमी आउन सक्छ । निरन्तरको उत्तेजनाले अर्को दिनमा तपाईंको लिङ्ग उत्तेजनामा कमी आउनसक्छ त्यसकारण चाहनालाई कन्ट्रोल गर्नुहोस् ।

५. सहि सेक्स पोजिसन चिन्नुहोस्ः जहिले पनि मुखमैथुनबाट सुरु गर्नुहोस् । मिसनरी र डगीजस्ता सेक्स पोजिसनले धेरै रक्तसंचार गर्ने हुँदा लिङ्ग उत्तेजना बढि हुने गर्दछ । सुरुमा नै आफ्नो पार्टनरलाई आफूमाथि चढ्न नदिनुहोस् ।

६. टाइट अन्डरगार्मेन्ट्सहरुको प्रयोग नगर्नुहोस्ः सुत्दाखेरी टाइट अन्डरगार्मेन्ट्सको प्रयोग नगर्नुहोस् । यसले पेनाइल टिस्युमा रक्तसंचारमा अवरोध खडा गर्दछ । अन्त्यमा, लिङ्ग उत्तेजना नहुने कुरामा चिन्ता गर्न छाड्नुहोस् र स्वस्थ सेक्स लाइफ अगाडि बढाउनुहोस् ।

Sexual Desire Disorder

Inhibited sexual desire (ISD) refers to a low level of sexual interest resulting in a failure to initiate or respond to sexual intimacy. ISD may be a primary condition (where an individual has never felt much sexual desire), or secondary (where lack of interest is something new).

ISD may also be specific to the partner, or it may be a general attitude toward any potential partner.

A diagnosis of hypoactive sexual desire disorder refers to a persistent or recurring lack of desire or an absence of sexual fantasies. However, sexual performance may be adequate once activity has been initiated. This disorder occurs in approximately 20 percent of the population and is more common in women, though it does affect both sexes.

Sexual aversion disorder refers to a condition in which the concept of genital sexual contact seems repulsive. This disorder probably occurs less frequently than hypoactive sexual desire.

महिला र पुरुषमा यौनकृडा गर्ने शक्तीमा कमि आउनुको कारण के हो?हेर्नुस भिडियो सहित !

Read More…
The American Medical Association has estimated that several million US women suffer from what doctors there call ‘female sexual arousal disorder’ (FSAD). However, currently there seems to be an FSAD bandwagon, driven by doctors who think that nearly half the female population (43 per cent) lack sex drive. Such a high number really doesn’t seem likely.

In the UK, family planning clinics and Relate (or Relationships Scotland) clinics see quite large numbers of women who complain of low libido. Our estimate is that at any one time, several hundred thousand women in Britain are troubled by lack of sex drive.

Many of these women have no problems with having orgasms. Rather, they have no real desire to have sex and their minds are not turned on by the prospect of love-making.

Fortunately, for many females this lack of libido is only temporary.

Some will get over it by themselves, and a lot more can be helped by expert medical or psychosexual advice. Others do not really want to get back into the world of rampaging sexual desire and are quite happy to lead lives which are untroubled by lust.

सेक्सका लागि महिला आँतुर हुने समय

महिला हुन् या पुरुष, सेक्सका विषयमा अनेकन शोध र अध्ययन भएका छन् । शोधका निष्कर्षहरु पनि रोचक हुने गरेका छन् । यस्तै महिलाहरुका विषयमा पनि धेरै शोध भएका छन् । त्यसको परिणाम केही सामान्य देखिएका छन् भने केही असामान्य ।
शोधका अनुसार एउटी महिला तब सेक्सका लागि अधिक आँतुर हुन्छन् जब उनीहरुमा अन्डोत्सर्ग (अव्यलेसन) प्रक्रिया चरम हुन्छ । यसरी नै जब महिलाको मासिक चक्र सुरु हुन्छ तब उनीहरुको कामुकता उच्च स्थानमा पुग्दछ ।
के चकलेट र यौन आकर्षणमा कुनै समानता छ । प्रश्न अचम्मको हुन सक्दछ । तर शोधको निष्कर्षले त यसैतर्फ इशारा गरेको छ । केही अघि भएको शोधले गुड फिलिङ्गसका मामिलामा चकलेट सेक्स्युअल आकर्षण समान छ ।
दुवैमा एकै रसायन पाइने गर्दछ । जसमा फिलाइल एथिलामाइन पाइन्छ । त्यसैले मानिसहरुलाई जति मजा यौन आकर्षण र प्रेमबाट प्राप्त हुन्छ त्यति नै मजा चकलेटले पनि दिने गर्दछ । एजेन्सी

सेक्सले दिमाग तीक्ष्ण बनाउछ

Jokes:
Q: What has many keys but can't open any doors?
A: A piano.

Q: What has 6 eyes but can't see?
A: 3 blind mice.

Q: Who earns money driving their customers away?
A: A taxi driver.

first-time sex का केहि टिप्सहरु ?

Here are my 10 commandments for first-time sex, whether it’s your first time ever or just with a new guy. While I can’t guarantee you a religious experience, if you follow my lead I can promise you a sexual experience that will be all the more satisfying.

1. Safety first. There’s no such thing as totally safe sex, but you sure can be safer. Make sure he’s wearing a condom (even if you’re on the Pill) and talk about your respective sexual histories. I know it may sound like a buzz-kill, but heterosexual women have a higher risk of contracting an STI (sexually transmitted infection) than men, so it’s up to you to take a proactive interest in your sexual health.

2. Don’t have too-high expectations. Sex generally improves as you get to know someone and become more comfortable with each other’s bodies. So don’t feel pressured to make it the best night ever, because this is just the first of many.

3. Breathe. First-time sex can be tense and nerve-wracking, not to mention painful sometimes. Taking long, deep breaths can help you relax and let go.

4. Don’t forget to enjoy foreplay. All the stuff that leads up to intercourse — kissing, touching, oral sex — is part of the sexual experience; it’s not just about penetration.

5. Make sure you’re amply aroused before intercourse. Not only do you want to be genuinely turned on, you want to be sufficiently lubricated. If you’re too dry, he’ll have trouble entering you, you’ll feel discomfort, and the friction can cause the condom to rip. So, keep water–based lube on hand just in case.

6. Speak up. Let him know what feels good, and what doesn’t. Guys crave feedback, so don’t be shy about clueing him in.

7. Don’t assume he’s the expert. He may be getting a lot of his information about sex from porn and the tall tales of his buddies in the locker room. And, even if he is experienced, every sexual encounter is unique. He’s just as worried about pleasing you as you are about getting him off.

8. Don’t expect to have an orgasm. Of course, it’s great if you do. But, most women don’t climax the first few times with a new guy. Orgasms come with a sense of comfort and specific knowledge of each other’s bodies, and that takes time.

9. Don’t fake it. If you do, you’ll only be cheating yourself. Letting him know you came close and want to get there with him will keep him motivated.

10. His penis may malfunction. Guys get anxious too. Premature ejaculation and erectile difficulty are common the first time a man sleeps with someone. If he has a problem, don’t make a big deal out of it or worry that there’s something wrong with you or your connection. More than likely, it will work itself out.

कस्तो कानून ? गर्भ खेर गएमा महिलालाई जेल

 

 दुनियाका कुनै कुनै देशमा निकै विचित्र तथा कठोर कानून हुन्छन् । कतिपय त अमानवीय नै हुन्छन् । मध्य अमेरिकी देश एल साल्भाडोरमा पनि एउटा यस्तै कठोर कानून रहेछ । त्यस देशमा गर्भ खेर गएमा महिलालाई जेल हालिन्छ । महिलाको गर्भ जुनसुकै कारणले खेर गएको भएपनि महिलाले जानीबुझी आफैले गर्भ तुहाएको आरोप लगाएर महिलालाई जेल सजायँ सुनाइने रहेछ । गर्भ तुहिएका महिलालाई भ्रुणहत्याको अभियोग लाग्ने गरेको छ ।

यस्तो अन्यायपूर्ण कानूनको सिकार धेरै महिला भएका छन् । समाचार अनुसार गएको अक्टोबर ३० तारेखमा एक १९ वर्षीया किशोरीले योनीबाट रक्तश्राव भएपछि अस्पतालमा जँचाउन जाँदा चिकित्सकहरुले उनको गर्भ खेर गएको जानकारी दिए । त्यसपछि उनलाई जन्मिनका लागि तयार भैसकेको भ्रुण तुहाएको अभियोग लगाएर मुद्दा दायर गरियो । बिचरा ती किशोरीको गर्भ आफै खेर गएको थियो र उनले अस्पतालमा धेरै दिन उपचार गराउनु पर्यो । तर उनीमाथि भ्रुणहत्याको आरोप लाग्यो र अदालतले उनलाई १० वर्षको सजाय सुनायो । उनले जानीजानी गर्भ तुहाएको फैसला अदालतले गरेको छ ।

स्मरण रहोस् एल साल्भाडोरका अलावा निकारागुवा, चिली, होन्डुरस तथा डोमिनिकन गणतन्त्र यस्ता पाँच देश हुन जहाँ गर्भपात सख्त रुपमा बनदेज छ र गर्भपात गर्ने महिलालाई कडा सजाय हुने गरेको छ । अधिकारकर्मीहरुले भने यस्तो कानूनले महिलाको प्रजनन अधिकारको हनन गरेको भन्दै कानून संसोध गर्न माग गरेका छन् ।

Single women: how to be happy, dating or alone

Times have never been better for single women. Long gone are the days when we needed a man to pay the bills and protect us, and our social status was dependent on our spouse. Despite the recent return of Bridget Jones, there are single people of all ages out there going about their business and enjoying themselves, and the word spinster has pretty much been outlawed. And yet, says Zoe Strimpel, who is organising a discussion on the topic at this year's Cambridge Festival of Ideas, being unattached and over 30 remains a source of anxiety for many. Concerns range from mass hysteria over biological clocks through to fear of coping alone in old age, via unhelpful stereotypes of cat ladies and cougars. "Sometimes it's hard to know how to be a neutral single woman," says Strimpel. Joining her in discussion will be relationship counsellor Susan Quilliam, psychologist Cecilia d'Felice and authority on sexual matters, Rowan Pelling. Here is a preview of key tips from the event, entitled How to be a Single Woman in 2013, Whether You're 25 or 60, along with some thoughts from happily single women.

Age 20-30

Don't feel obliged to regale your coupled-up friends with wild tales from dating's front line. There's an immense pressure to be showily "single and loving it", says Strimpel, whose book The Man Diet was published last year. "I have heard some distressing sexual things women have reluctantly done in the name of fun," she adds, "such as going home with unfriendly randoms only to be secretly appalled by their callous and unattractive behaviour, the porn pop ups carelessly left flashing on their laptop." People expect that their single friends will want to talk about men, whether it's about sex, or deconstructing their behaviour per se, "but the more you talk about something, the more entrenched in your mind it becomes," breeding unhealthy obsessions, says Strimpel.

Engage in lofty activities. When you've been burning the candle in search of romance, only to find yourself exhausted and so very tired of bad sex, try staying in to read War and Peace instead. That's what Strimpel did, and it helped her gain some perspective. "I felt so smug," she says, "I couldn't believe that I had bothered with these losers when I was now too busy contemplating the battle of Borodino in 1812."

30-40

Don't feel like a failure; seize the opportunity to find yourself instead. "When you're in a relationship it's very hard to see yourself clearly because you're constantly in response to your partner," says d'Felice. Whereas when you're single, you can take stock, learn from your mistakes and work out what you want for the future. "Particularly for women who have been conditioned to be givers rather than takers," she adds, it's an opportunity to put ourselves first. "This is not an act of selfishness," she says. "It's a very important act of selfhood."

Contentment is key. Tina Andrews, who has been single for a decade, points out that there are happy and unhappy people in and out of relationships. "For me it's about being content and, hopefully, that takes you on the right path. I see more pain and misery from women who think they should be in a relationship, who put themselves out there to be knocked back, and lose a sense of themselves. I think: you've wasted 10 years trying to find a man while I've enjoyed myself."

Avoid women's magazines. Patti Burton, a charity manager who has been single for more than 20 years, cites her disinterest in glossy articles "aimed at people who are part of couples", as one of the reasons she has never felt any stigma about her relationship status.

40-50

Don't be afraid of 40. Andrews felt in the run-up that her options were falling away, but then realised: "I actually don't care. I don't have the urge to have a family, and I don't see 40 as the end of that anyway. As we grow up, our expectations of certain ages change. It's the Friends generation turning into the Sex and the City generation, moving into the Golden Girls. Life continues at all these ages."
Internet dating Internet dating has brought new opportunities for single women. Photograph: Brian Jackson/Alamy

Give thanks that you're among the last generations who didn't learn about sex from internet porn. "You know sex is a fun, amateur sport, and that's a great blessing," says Pelling.

Single mums can have fun, too. "Of my friends who wanted to be older mums," says Pelling, "more of them had children than not, despite everyone saying their chances were about 2%." And those who went for it on their own with sperm-donor dads are still dating. "The biggest change is internet dating, so you don't have to join the amateur dramatics society and the tennis club any more to meet people."

50-60

Women do not become invisible in middle age. Says Pelling: "some of the most attractive, lusted-after women I know are in their 50s. It's up to you whether you think it's time to withdraw." You do, however, have to be robust in the face of those who want to knock women down. "But it's not as if we're dressing to attract people of 28. … Why should we have to not be a sexual person just because we're on the wrong side of 45?"

Don't be hemmed in by cliches. You can't stop people using labels, such as cougar, says Pelling. "Culturally, we're much worse than, say, the French about older people having sex. Everyone in France expects glamorous 60-year-olds will be, but we're sort of still coping with the idea. There are a load of unpleasant terms out there but it'll get you nowhere having any anxiety about those."

60 plus

Don't take the decreasing numbers of men personally. "Be realistic," says Quilliam, "and face the fact that there are fewer men than there once were and you'll probably live longer than most of them."

Enjoy not having to pick up anyone's pants any more. When her marriage ended, Burton (now 65) assumed she'd eventually have another live-in relationship but what has largely been on offer is "lonely men who need looking after. I've got three children and six grandchildren – I do not need a middle-aged man to look after".

Use a condom. Along with the increasing sexual activity in 50- to 90-year-olds (80% are sexually active), figures published in the British Medical Journal last year showed that STDS in this age group have doubled in a decade.

All ages
Be positive, says Quilliam, "if for no other reason than bitterness is not a good look – to attract a partner, for your friends to hang round and, most importantly, for you." Don't spend the rest of your life saying "... the bastard's robbed me". Do whatever it takes to move on: counselling, talking to friends, rethinking your life.

Be self-determining. It's very easy to be passive, says Quilliam. If you want a partner, try internet dating, or taking other active steps to find one. And if you want to stay single, or have a string of casual affairs, go for it. You now have the freedom.

Connect in a way that's right for you. Burton gets all the human warmth she needs from her family. Or gather friends around you, says Quilliam: "You can get most of what you want from people other than a partner."

Finally, Quilliam quotes the words that poet Seamus Heaney texted to his wife last month when he was on the brink of death and she was facing widowhood: "nolle timere" (don't be afraid). "The key thing about being single is don't be frightened. In today's world as a woman, you have huge status, you can manage on your own, you can chose to build your own life."

Single women: how to be happy, dating or alone

Times have never been better for single women. Long gone are the days when we needed a man to pay the bills and protect us, and our social status was dependent on our spouse. Despite the recent return of Bridget Jones, there are single people of all ages out there going about their business and enjoying themselves, and the word spinster has pretty much been outlawed. And yet, says Zoe Strimpel, who is organising a discussion on the topic at this year's Cambridge Festival of Ideas, being unattached and over 30 remains a source of anxiety for many. Concerns range from mass hysteria over biological clocks through to fear of coping alone in old age, via unhelpful stereotypes of cat ladies and cougars. "Sometimes it's hard to know how to be a neutral single woman," says Strimpel. Joining her in discussion will be relationship counsellor Susan Quilliam, psychologist Cecilia d'Felice and authority on sexual matters, Rowan Pelling. Here is a preview of key tips from the event, entitled How to be a Single Woman in 2013, Whether You're 25 or 60, along with some thoughts from happily single women.

Age 20-30

Don't feel obliged to regale your coupled-up friends with wild tales from dating's front line. There's an immense pressure to be showily "single and loving it", says Strimpel, whose book The Man Diet was published last year. "I have heard some distressing sexual things women have reluctantly done in the name of fun," she adds, "such as going home with unfriendly randoms only to be secretly appalled by their callous and unattractive behaviour, the porn pop ups carelessly left flashing on their laptop." People expect that their single friends will want to talk about men, whether it's about sex, or deconstructing their behaviour per se, "but the more you talk about something, the more entrenched in your mind it becomes," breeding unhealthy obsessions, says Strimpel.

Engage in lofty activities. When you've been burning the candle in search of romance, only to find yourself exhausted and so very tired of bad sex, try staying in to read War and Peace instead. That's what Strimpel did, and it helped her gain some perspective. "I felt so smug," she says, "I couldn't believe that I had bothered with these losers when I was now too busy contemplating the battle of Borodino in 1812."

30-40

Don't feel like a failure; seize the opportunity to find yourself instead. "When you're in a relationship it's very hard to see yourself clearly because you're constantly in response to your partner," says d'Felice. Whereas when you're single, you can take stock, learn from your mistakes and work out what you want for the future. "Particularly for women who have been conditioned to be givers rather than takers," she adds, it's an opportunity to put ourselves first. "This is not an act of selfishness," she says. "It's a very important act of selfhood."

Contentment is key. Tina Andrews, who has been single for a decade, points out that there are happy and unhappy people in and out of relationships. "For me it's about being content and, hopefully, that takes you on the right path. I see more pain and misery from women who think they should be in a relationship, who put themselves out there to be knocked back, and lose a sense of themselves. I think: you've wasted 10 years trying to find a man while I've enjoyed myself."

Avoid women's magazines. Patti Burton, a charity manager who has been single for more than 20 years, cites her disinterest in glossy articles "aimed at people who are part of couples", as one of the reasons she has never felt any stigma about her relationship status.

40-50

Don't be afraid of 40. Andrews felt in the run-up that her options were falling away, but then realised: "I actually don't care. I don't have the urge to have a family, and I don't see 40 as the end of that anyway. As we grow up, our expectations of certain ages change. It's the Friends generation turning into the Sex and the City generation, moving into the Golden Girls. Life continues at all these ages."
Internet dating Internet dating has brought new opportunities for single women. Photograph: Brian Jackson/Alamy

Give thanks that you're among the last generations who didn't learn about sex from internet porn. "You know sex is a fun, amateur sport, and that's a great blessing," says Pelling.

Single mums can have fun, too. "Of my friends who wanted to be older mums," says Pelling, "more of them had children than not, despite everyone saying their chances were about 2%." And those who went for it on their own with sperm-donor dads are still dating. "The biggest change is internet dating, so you don't have to join the amateur dramatics society and the tennis club any more to meet people."

50-60

Women do not become invisible in middle age. Says Pelling: "some of the most attractive, lusted-after women I know are in their 50s. It's up to you whether you think it's time to withdraw." You do, however, have to be robust in the face of those who want to knock women down. "But it's not as if we're dressing to attract people of 28. … Why should we have to not be a sexual person just because we're on the wrong side of 45?"

Don't be hemmed in by cliches. You can't stop people using labels, such as cougar, says Pelling. "Culturally, we're much worse than, say, the French about older people having sex. Everyone in France expects glamorous 60-year-olds will be, but we're sort of still coping with the idea. There are a load of unpleasant terms out there but it'll get you nowhere having any anxiety about those."

60 plus

Don't take the decreasing numbers of men personally. "Be realistic," says Quilliam, "and face the fact that there are fewer men than there once were and you'll probably live longer than most of them."

Enjoy not having to pick up anyone's pants any more. When her marriage ended, Burton (now 65) assumed she'd eventually have another live-in relationship but what has largely been on offer is "lonely men who need looking after. I've got three children and six grandchildren – I do not need a middle-aged man to look after".

Use a condom. Along with the increasing sexual activity in 50- to 90-year-olds (80% are sexually active), figures published in the British Medical Journal last year showed that STDS in this age group have doubled in a decade.

All ages
Be positive, says Quilliam, "if for no other reason than bitterness is not a good look – to attract a partner, for your friends to hang round and, most importantly, for you." Don't spend the rest of your life saying "... the bastard's robbed me". Do whatever it takes to move on: counselling, talking to friends, rethinking your life.

Be self-determining. It's very easy to be passive, says Quilliam. If you want a partner, try internet dating, or taking other active steps to find one. And if you want to stay single, or have a string of casual affairs, go for it. You now have the freedom.

Connect in a way that's right for you. Burton gets all the human warmth she needs from her family. Or gather friends around you, says Quilliam: "You can get most of what you want from people other than a partner."

Finally, Quilliam quotes the words that poet Seamus Heaney texted to his wife last month when he was on the brink of death and she was facing widowhood: "nolle timere" (don't be afraid). "The key thing about being single is don't be frightened. In today's world as a woman, you have huge status, you can manage on your own, you can chose to build your own life."

What Happened When I Had Sex Every Day For A Year

I just had sex every day for a year, and I didn't tell you about it.
But I did video tape it, so check it out -> here!
Just kidding.

I wasn't even sure I was going to go into it, but here we are. *pats the empty space on the couch*

It was the email that never made the emails, mostly because it was the kind of truth that stung a little too much.Well, shit.

The fact is, I am horrible at intimacy. I come from a family of non-huggers and I sometimes hate my body, so yeah, recipe for Temple Grandin hug machine. My husband is gorgeous and very, very sexy, but the issues we were having in the sack were all me. I could not shut my insecurity off, and sex quickly became a really anxiety-inducing experience that went one of two ways.

1. I avoided it, because it was hot and stressful hiding my body under two comforters and a snowsuit in the dark and instead ran a diversion play. I have cramps. I have too many deadlines. Gigi is too scared to sleep alone let's bring her in the bed with us. Yeah, I used a 4-year-old as the most adorable cock-block ever. You can't be in sex mode after reading three Fancy Nancy books, you just can't.

2. I tried to explain to him why I was self conscious, and then he asked why him telling me how pretty I was wasn't enough for me to get over it, and I felt like a horrible, horrible asshole.

So after a lot of crying and shrimp curry, I came up with the plan to have sex every day for a year, barring any medical problems or logistical issues, and he seemed to be pretty okay with it. I wish it could say it was a profound decision, but the truth is, I was getting worried he was losing interest because I acted uninterested out of insecurity, and he was getting nervous about me saying things like, how awesome do separate bedrooms sound!?

(Spoiler alert: I still vote separate bedrooms, but he's a snorer and sleep chewer who is vehemently against the color mint and my need for body pillows.)

We figured if we focused on intimacy, eventually it'd rekindle all the things we spent sevenish post-birth years back burner'ing out of sheer exhaustion and raging insecurity. This is the same way I got over my fear of eating oysters and driving in the snow. You just make yourself do it until you don't notice it feels like mucus or like you don't know how to control a motor vehicle. You make yourself do it until it becomes a place of comfort and safety. You make yourself do it until suddenly, you love it.

Now I can't speak for Andy, except to say he had a really good time, but for me, a year of sex became less about getting my sex on, and more about getting my brain to stop being an asshole when I took all my clothes off.

It started off pretty rough. I felt like I was always preparing for sex; Whore's Bath & Sink Shaving Badge #5: UNLOCKED. It got to the end of the day, and as I hunched over the sink washing my face, praying for cold sheets and sleep, I'd realize I still had the whole love-making thing to do, and it was like, awesome, another daily chore.

But then it stopped being a chore, and became the moment of the day where I was most at peace. Where I could have an actual conversation with my husband and know he was listening to me and not secretly watching television or elbow deep in Lego assembly.

I told a few friends, and they reacted pretty much the same way, oh I could never do that. And I totally get it, but I actually learned a lot about myself between the sheets.

It's not you, it's me. Stop being weird about it.

So I disliked my stomach. My thighs. How I looked laying flat on my back. A myriad of irrational things, really, and I'd have the same conversation with Andy about it, telling him I'm self conscious and I just don't feel sexy, and then he'd spend 10 minutes telling me how gorgeous I am, and then another 30 minutes pouting and being hurt that it wasn't enough to make me change my mind. So on top of feeling insecure, I felt like a jerk. That needed to stop. I needed to explain to him that him seeing me that way is great, but unless I saw it too, it didn't count. I mean, at least if he expected me to be an active participant and not just a hole laying on the mattress. It took a lot of talking to make him realize that me not feeling sexy was not an attack on him, and him being hurt about it only made me feel worse. I wanted to enjoy sex, too. And the key for me being able to enjoy it is feeling confident and gorgeous, and that was a me journey, not a him journey, though having a cheerleader on the sidelines was a plus.

We quickly learned, confident Brittany sex is way better.

Pretty panties make me happy.

It's no secret that I love fashion and playing dress up, but I found that when I was at home in mom/wife/muggle/couch mode, I was opting for ease. And that's fine. Seriously, I am not some bitch here telling you to wear heels to the grocery store or pants to school pick up when you aren't even getting out of the car and it's a total waste of clean pants. But one day I was getting dressed for an outside wedding shower in 90 degree heat, and decided to forgo shapewear for regular underwear, when I realized the only underwear I owned was either ratty maternity underwear or cheap 99 cent briefs I grabbed at the end of a Walmart aisle to get me through my period week. No wonder I didn't feel sexy, I had the undergarments of an incontinent nursing home patient.

So I went to Cacique and stocked up on 5 for $25 panties. Some were plain and some were lacy, and when I wore them they looked so pretty across my hips. I'd even find myself walking from my closet to the bathroom wearing them, a stark contract to the primal run I did covered in a towel with my spanx shoved into a ball of clothes in my hands when I thought Andy wasn't paying attention.

I went back to buy more underwear, and even some cute lingerie that I tried on in the store and sent photos of to Andy at work. Needless to say, he was excited, but it was more than that. The effort I put into wearing the cute panties, even if they were under a pair of jeans or sweat shorts, made me feel insanely gorgeous, and my brain needed that.

I am my own sex advocate.

I like being on my knees and I'm not an inside climaxer, I'm an outside climaxer. I do like oral sex, but I don't like having my nipples touched, because they are numb. I also hate having breath on my neck because I am extremely ticklish, and then I get goosebumps and my leg hair grows in too fast. Please stop doing that.

All that? I had to work on being okay saying all that out loud, and get over the idea that I was being a selfish, demanding nympho. I deserve good sex as much as he does, and instead of waiting around for him to figure it out, which is totally unfair to guys by the way, I had to find my voice and use it.

Coincidentally, it was a major turn on. Who knew?

Now what, nympho?

We're not hell-bent on doing it every day anymore, but we definitely make more of an effort, and it helped us be a lot more open with each other. I mean, if you have "ball shaving" as a monthly google calendar alert, it's safe to say you're comfortable talking about almost anything.